The emergency sirens were getting closer. The mob with their
torches were raising their flambeaus in exultation, but saw them extinguished
by the hovering helicopter looking for a place to land. Soldiers in fatigues were
deploying and handing out blankets. The ticker tape parade was in full swing,
though once the confetti landed on the concrete sidewalk, they were limply
drenched by the hoses putting out the ground fires. The tribal warrior was
taking the plaudits from his people as he rode by them in his chariot. The girl
kissed the man who had rescued her death-defyingly, though he flinched as her
lips irritated the cut on his lip. Meanwhile overhead pyrotechnics lit up the
sky with celebratory swashes of colour. Their detonations blotted out the sound
of horns from the flotilla of ships returning triumphantly to harbour. The
graduates threw their mortar boards into the air, while on the parade ground
the police received their medals with due pomp.
He shouldn't have been quite so churlish. Disowning his own
film because the Studio rejected his dark ending. Their test screenings, focus
groups and guinea pigs, people who had never made a film in their life, YouTube
not withstanding, had plumped for something more upbeat. And so he had ceded
his opus to Alan Smithee, the hardest working director in Hollywood back in the
day.
Out of pique he had spliced together a reel of all the
hackneyed endings to films he could find and now sat watching it on an endless
loop. His own original celluloid having long since shrivelled into dust. He who
had been charged with chronicling the world through his imagination, now left
without a camera to record anything. Just a projector to relay this degraded
version of it instead. Here in his self-enforced seclusion, now the last witness
to the fate of mankind. Following the ravages of wars and genocides. The
inundations of toxic waste, biological mutation and terrorist inspired nuclear
contamination. Rising tidal waters and tsunamis. The assault of solar radiation
through the Earth's denuded Maginot Line of ozone and magnetic fields.
The last man on earth, one of its most eloquent examiners,
stripped of any means of self-expression. Of any audience remaining to report
to. There were no focus groups now. He wound the spool of film around his neck
and looped it over the curtain rail. Alan Smithee's final stand as he kicked
the best supporting chair away from under him. The definitive ending that his
magnum opus had demanded all those years ago, but which had been prettified by
the Studio. If anything, he hadn't been dark enough in the original.
Note: Alan Smithee is
the name given to the director of any film disowned by its actual director.
This has now been replaced by the name Thomas Lee.
from the flash collection - available from Amazon Kindle Store free to download from 3-7th June 2016
13 comments:
Oh this is brilliantly clever. Love how the first and last paragraphs complement each other and the way you play with endings...Hope it goes down well in Stokey
Thanks Virginia! I really need to knuckle down & rehearse all 3 pieces. Luckily I'm on holiday now.
Congratulations on your readings. You'll do great.
Fascinating concept, left alone with what you disowned.
Really like this, you at your sparkling finest. Excellently phrased as ever and most interesting.
I didn't know about the Smithee/Lee name thing. I wish you all the best with your reading - I think this piece will really make an impression on your audience.
I thought the swing against Youtube filmmakers was cute, if additionally churlish. He may wind up there.
And I keep forgetting about the Smithee name!
I never knew that about the name thing - how interesting.
Best wishes for the reading I know you'll be a success especially with this piece!
Wonderful testament to the power of the consumer over the power of film (can't believe they made James Whale change the ending of Bride of Frankenstein)
I didn't know about Smithee, thanks for the "fact I have learned today"! I think your chap might have preferred my apocalypse to what he had to put up with.
Best of luck with the readings, are they going to be video-ed at all?
It seems his greatest mistake was thinking that people want films that are true and accurate. Clearly, we do not.
Good luck at the reading!
This is a really well written piece of flash fiction. Quite literary and intelligent: should go down well in N5.
I like the way you have your film maker hanging himself with the reel of studio-friendly endings; they did for him in more ways than one.
Inspired.
Alan Smithee for the win! This is a man who lives and dies for his art! Great story!
Quite an awesome piece Marc, the poor guy ending his life by using a loop of endings is deep, and saddening.
And as he said, "If anything, he hadn't been dark enough in the original."
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