Call Me - Telephone Tunes

1) Blondie - "Hanging On The Telephone"
Blondie also had a song "Call Me" so she was definitely the queen of all things telephone.


2) The Jam - "Girl On The Phone"
This was the opening track of their semi-concept album "Setting Sons" and is in all truth a bit of a flimsy thing compared with some of the other relly strong sons on that album. But obviously pre-call centres, some poor telephonist had irritated the Modfather sufficiently to have a song penned to her by Angry of Woking...


3) The Fall - "Telephone Thing"
Mark E Smith was always ahead of the game musically and this collaboration with electronic dance samplers supreme Coldcut showed he was a prophet yet again. God knows what the thundering bass Fall fans made of it, but this is one of my top 10 Fall tracks.


4) Cop Shoot Cop - "Disconnected 666"
Industrial band Cop Shoot Cop sample that gets right inside your head and drives you mad. In order to soften you for the twin bass rumble that would inevitably follow in the next song.


5) The B52s - "6060-842"
This is not one of the better known B52s tracks, evidenced by there seeming only two videos of it on YouTube. The number is imaginary by the way...


6) MIA - "U.R.A.Q.T."
No idea what this song is about, but it does start off blethering about mobile phones... This one's more about texting though


7) Kraftwerk - "The Telephone Call"
You just knew there'd be a Kraftwerk tune in this right? It's in German so I have no idea what they're actually singing, but it's Kraftwerk so it works for me...


8) The Undertones - "You Got My Number"
Maybe not strictly about the telephone, since it's about not calling someone, but this song I think is criminally overlooked against the triumvirate of mighty Undertones singles, "Teenage Kicks", "Jimmy Jimmy" and "My Perfect Cousin". But this is great right? I said RIGHT?


9) Maceo - "Nextel Chirp"


10) Pete Shelley - "Telephone Operator"
I hated the 80s and all that synth music. This strangely enough sounds like Stan Ridgway's Wall of Voodoo, so it's okay


11) Steely Dan - "Rikki Don't Lose That Number"

Capital City Carousing

I'm a Londoner by birth and berth. As proud as I am of my City, I have to acknowledge that while most UK rock and roll ends up residing here, very little of it actually derives from the Capital. Paul Du Noyer has written an excellent book In The City detailing the London music scene from the time of music broadsheet sellers attending public executions, through Tin Pan Alley to the Libertines, but most are migrants from the provinces and the Home Counties.

Here is a chart of ten songs referencing the Capital, but from bands actually hailing from London.

1) "London's Burning" - The Clash

The obvious choice would be their single "London Calling", but this song defined the punk rock emerging from West London. "London's burning with boredom now". Indeed we were and turned it on its head in a fantastic flourishing of creative energy.

2) "LDN" - Lily Allen

Filmed at my alma mater Rough Trade Record Shop with a couple of my former work colleagues having non-speaking, non-paying roles, Lily's sweet tones overlay a song extolling the capital and dominated the City for the Summer that it was released, but made us all feel good about ourselves for all its double-edged mood.

3) "THe Greatest Cockney Rip Off" - Cockney Rejects

East Enders Cockney Rejects display good old class chips on the shoulder. There were plenty of candidates for this slot, check out Sham 69's "Hersham Boys" for more of the same, but with maybe a tad less paranoia.

4) "GLC" - Menace

Punk rockers Menace pen a criticial ode to the Greater London Council, London's local government body which Mrs Thatcher disbanded as soon as she could. Could be said to be one hit wonders, though maybe this wasn't even what one could call a hit.

5) "Cockney Translation" - Smiley Culture

6) "Galang" - MIA

If Smiley Culture merged Jamaican patois with Cockney, MIA took it on to a whole new mash up level of slang with this song.

7) "Hold Tight London" - Chemical Brothers

Manchester may have had the Roses & The Mondays, but one thing London does usually lead on is dance music. Kids from the provinces may return home from Ibiza and other resorts with the club music played there, but London is more cosmopolitan in its crossover influences.

8) "Rainy Night In Soho" - The Pogues

Amongst all the drinking songs and paeans to Irish culture, Shane MacGowan was also a really rather wonderful poet of London life.

9) "Down In The Tubestation At Midnight" - The Jam

There is some debate as to where London's boundaries actually begin and end. I would argue that it extends to Brighton in the South, Tilbury in the East, Oxford in the West and Luton in the North. That would make Woking part of the metropolis and that's where the Mod obsessed Jam hailed from, so it counts in my book.

10) "London City" - Devlin

Grime, jungle and dub step are definitive London sounds unique to our culture, building on reggae, rave and hip hop. Much of the output namechecks the city, as location is crucial to the scene.