Thursday, 5 May 2011

The Caller To The Bingo Caller's House Calls 'House'

Time For Fun, 41 - There are 41 paving stones from your gate to the front door
Key of the Door, 21 - Your wallet has a combined total of twenty-one credit, debit and identity cards
Clickety-Click, 66 - As usual, there will be a total of 66 prizes given out by you down at the bingo tonight. Everyone's a winner, of sorts
Gateway to Heaven, 27 - Twenty-seven stairs up to the bedroom
Dancing Queen, 17 - The seventeenth step is loose and groans, so take pains to avoid it
One More Time, 79 - There are seventy-nine books in your bookshelf on the landing
Naughty, 40 - All your lightbulbs are 40 Watt energy savers
Knock at the Door, 4 - In her sleep, your wife snores four times before a whistle
Pick and Mix, 26 - The bedroom door is twenty-six inches wide, I have to turn side on to squeeze in through it
Ghandi's Breakfast, 80 - Your wife has eighty, yes eighty count 'em, dresses in the wardrobe
Coming of Age, 18 - She has eighteen different beauty creams, ointments and salves on her bedside table
The Lord is my Shepherd, 23 - William Burroughs and other occultists attribute strong magic significance behind this number. It happens to be my lucky one
Up to Tricks, 46 - There is forty-six minutes until the last game and the end of your shift
You and Me, number 3 - Your wife sleeps propped up on three pillows, one fringed
On it's Own, 1 - Now that I'm here, she can no longer be said to be all alone
Dirty Gertie, Number 30 - We all know your wife isn't called Gertie
Candy Store, 74 - She ain't called Candy either, she's not American
Rise And Shine, 29
Thee and Me, 23
Down on your Knees, 43
Droopy Drawers, 44
Ask for More, 34
Red Raw, 64
Staying Alive, 85
Get up and Run, 31
Eyes down...
Clean the Floor, 54...

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Okay, your wish is my control C button - here's a podcast version you can ddownload


John Wiswell said...

Wild and I wonder what narratives people will derive or impose. I began imagining it belied a tryst, but when all the wife-talk faded I went into more of a Sound-and-Fury phase.

Helen said...

Strange, and yet interesting.. I wondered if the Bingo caller's caller was having a manic session - something to do with an unfaithful lover... but then she called House! and clean the floor - now I imagined a lot of blood LOL

Hmm I'll have to go away and think on this one all over again :)

Icy Sedgwick said...

The bingo number names fascinate me anyway and I love how you've turned them into a narrative here.

Deb Rickard said...

What a brilliantly conceived piece! I love the connections and connotations. You tell a story in an original way that drew me in from the beginning. I'm still not sure how much is in my imagination but that's part of the beauty of this. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Different and intelligent. I imagine this being read at an alternative poetry night, but it works equally well as a story. Great use of a clever idea.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha - so many comments, so little time. What a talking piece.
'Dirty Gertie from number thirty...' :) That took me back a few years.
Do you know I actually tried 4 snores and a whistle before realised what a plank I must look.
Yes, like Justin (FLying Scribbler)'s comment about it being read outloud. Would be loads of fun.

Philip Ellis said...

I love this - short, slick, a little bit sick if you want it to be. Very nice how the ending can be interpreted a number of ways.

Lisamarie Lamb said...

Oh, very clever - wonderful idea, well done!

Anonymous said...

Yes a tryst as John said, especially with the title (boom boom!)A bit naughty. Reminds me a little of your stations riff in format. Nice use of contextual meaning to inform and layer.

Mari said...

I'm not sure I have a clever comment to make here. All I have to say is that I found your piece very original and it resonates with a deep part of me, a quiet one. Well done.

Mari said...

Hm, after the second reading I understood the story behind the numbers. But you know what? I like better my incomprehensible first interpretation. Cool story all the same tho!

Virginia Moffatt said...

Am trying to think of a witty bingo way to say FANTASTIC. Loved this. Loved it. Great way to tell a story.

Sonia said...

Odd. But interesting too. The last couple lines sound like something dangerous is going on.

Sulci Collective said...

Okay, so we seem fairly split down the middle between this being a romantic tryst behind the bingo-caller's back and something far more sinister.

I know which one I was aiming for, but it's immensely gratifying that it can be read another way too.

Thanks for your thoughts guys. Keep the votes coming in for which of the two ways you think this story's aheading.


AidanF said...

I leaned towards the romantic tryst. I liked the numeral titles that were used that had a nice fresh feel with they way they interacted with the numbers.

Anonymous said...

Unique piece to say the least - I like :)
I love thigns that rhymne at the best of times, so this immediately drew me in - great work

Lou Freshwater said...

You write with such music. No matter the subject or the form. I love this. The whimsy mixed with the sinister is kind of disturbing, but in a good way.

Unknown said...

Wow, I must not have my modern hat on today because it's just escaping past me. I'll have to bookmark this though and see what it reads like another day.

One of those things where I like it but I have absolutely no idea why.

Tony Noland said...

Oh, I'm definitely going with the sinister interpretation. Thoroughly evocative.

Adam B said...

Your construction with words is always a masterclass to read. Inspiring.
Adam B @revhappiness

Deanna Schrayer said...

Unique, original, masterful, and on and on....your work always astounds Marc! I interpreted towards the sinister as well.

This: "She ain't called Candy either, she's not American" cracked me up. :)

Unknown said...

Ok, I read it today and it totally creeped me out. Wow this is really good! Wow!!!!

I'm glad I came back and tried it again.