tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post5834690849198921965..comments2024-01-27T20:23:45.771+00:00Comments on Sulci Collective: Death Masking Love - Friday FlashSulci Collectivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03293833259808943096noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-7587599688178287472010-03-16T12:00:50.759+00:002010-03-16T12:00:50.759+00:00Just an awesome, heart-wrenching ending to a beaut...Just an awesome, heart-wrenching ending to a beautifully paced story. So achingly sad. Man, I've been that girl and it's a sorrowful place to be. Very well done Marc.Cathy Olliffe-Websterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12729578896443750402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-17244634826848850022010-03-14T21:44:58.917+00:002010-03-14T21:44:58.917+00:00Like Deanna & Laura, I was afraid he wouldn...Like Deanna & Laura, I was afraid he wouldn't make it through the night and that the next description was going to be of his blood .. (eek!). But I think it was the emotional and descriptive intensity that made me fear for the worst - it could've gone either way. Glad he survived, but very sad indeed for her. Very nice piece!PJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07521953491880916840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-44473211628004411532010-03-13T23:48:58.018+00:002010-03-13T23:48:58.018+00:00Great final paragraph...this is my favorite kind o...Great final paragraph...this is my favorite kind of writing, slow and steady and dripping in perfect time. Fantastic!Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01304850820653245569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-78291177308468905862010-03-13T22:58:25.198+00:002010-03-13T22:58:25.198+00:00Really liked this. Tender. Melancholy. Like Deanna...Really liked this. Tender. Melancholy. Like Deanna and Laura, I was a little fearful for him as well. "She would not allow that we are each born with our unique mark woven into our fingertips. The perfect match, seamless superimposition of one upon the other, must exist": doesn't bode well for a real relationship between two OTHERS. But, brilliantly, she sees (and you write)--"Unfortunately, even in his sleep, his was too broad for her to span with her dainty little hand." And she seems to accept this (at least a little) as she explores his body more. Did you know that Simone Weil says space (those things we encounter physically in space) is the first thing to remind us that we are not the center of the universe, but one among others (equals)? (Trick is to create the relation, though...) <br /><br />LOVED the elbow tasting of interrelatedness.<br /><br />I felt myself longing with her at the end. Very well-done, Marc. :)Melissahttp://windspiritgirl.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-58268926675672971702010-03-13T15:55:03.429+00:002010-03-13T15:55:03.429+00:00I have to repeat what others have said - sensual, ...I have to repeat what others have said - sensual, sensitive.<br />Like Deanna, at first I was afraid for him, but in the end I was sorry for her.Laura Enohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09982794146667832204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-90405276500356521222010-03-13T10:42:23.497+00:002010-03-13T10:42:23.497+00:00I really liked the idea of a topography of human f...I really liked the idea of a topography of human flesh.David Mastershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12809185582216906363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-78128591349410803382010-03-12T22:27:41.067+00:002010-03-12T22:27:41.067+00:00I agree with you Lou. For me everything starts wit...I agree with you Lou. For me everything starts with the central metaphor. it is the stem cell from which all the language flows. This one was just a bit more quieter and intimate in tone I guess.Sulci Collectivehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03293833259808943096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-50866183501669717862010-03-12T22:02:11.802+00:002010-03-12T22:02:11.802+00:00I agree with everyone about the strengths of this ...I agree with everyone about the strengths of this piece, but I have to say it doesn't seem that different than your other work. It just feels like you turned your eye toward this subject matter with the same intensity and detail as usual. And I loved it. Beauty and pain, and yearning to find a way to relieve the isolation we all feel. <br /><br />This:<br /><br />"She would not allow that we are each born with our unique mark woven into our fingertips. The perfect match, seamless superimposition of one upon the other, must exist."<br /><br />Amazing.<br /><br />The whole thing felt like the warm blood rushing straight to the heart.Lou Freshwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08849342766852653969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-81456774972619140902010-03-12T20:57:51.643+00:002010-03-12T20:57:51.643+00:00So many good comments about the sensual nature of ...So many good comments about the sensual nature of this flash. I loved the inside look of her obsession that may just be deep desire and longing - we are not sure. This is a very intimate look at her yearning and private thoughts - amazing and well-written!Anne Tyler Lordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16909141266966569378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-27482770563413713552010-03-12T19:31:15.510+00:002010-03-12T19:31:15.510+00:00I really love the last paragraph especially. Good ...I really love the last paragraph especially. Good read.Cat Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160039271069426174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-77063526029341564102010-03-12T19:13:11.988+00:002010-03-12T19:13:11.988+00:00I agree with others -- very sensuous in the detail...I agree with others -- very sensuous in the detail, with a heartbreaking ending. I usually like stories with more dialogue, and that's what I write most, but this one has staying power.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08236529774839136879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-32295183627760660392010-03-12T15:07:59.953+00:002010-03-12T15:07:59.953+00:00Does interrelatedness smell as well as taste?
&qu...Does interrelatedness smell as well as taste? <br />"I love the smell of interrelatedness in the morning"<br /><br />Love the idea of fingerprints finding their match.<br />Being lashed to the sheets by ribbons of light sounds rather lush, too.<br /><br />Heartbreaking last paragraph, but it sounds like she's going to keep trying. Maybe that's where she's going wrong...mazzz in Leedshttp://mazzz-in-leeds.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-3909659551269166552010-03-12T14:17:37.577+00:002010-03-12T14:17:37.577+00:00Am I the only one who felt afraid for him? At firs...Am I the only one who felt afraid for him? At first I just knew she was some sort of monster and was going to gobble him up. <br />But then you showed us 'the ribbons of light lashing her to the sheets' - beautiful line. Indeed, sensual and touching throughout. <br />Love this Marc!Deanna Schrayerhttp://theothersideofdeanna.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-24244476940698705212010-03-12T13:19:52.521+00:002010-03-12T13:19:52.521+00:00Dan I never forget myself in polite companyDan I never forget myself in polite companySulci Collectivehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03293833259808943096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-56007770423868700412010-03-12T13:11:25.155+00:002010-03-12T13:11:25.155+00:00It tasted of interrelatedness.
I loved that.
I en...It tasted of interrelatedness. <br />I loved that.<br />I enjoyed the parallels you drew between the hand and the pillow and the meanings of those lines. A wonderfully tight and sensuous piece.Lauritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03688820247531607677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-65370101857034304132010-03-12T12:56:58.538+00:002010-03-12T12:56:58.538+00:00Ha ha! I think what I really love is the way you a...Ha ha! I think what I really love is the way you appear at times to have forgotten yourself and let the writing lead youDan Hollowayhttp://www.yearzerowriters.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-84753883456059388362010-03-12T12:31:17.433+00:002010-03-12T12:31:17.433+00:00I adored this! As others said, sensitive, sensual,...I adored this! As others said, sensitive, sensual, and...tender.<br /><br />The last sentence was magic.<br /><br />Excellent, just excellent.Marisa Birnshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17945909737147497606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-73157418690708791852010-03-12T12:14:24.597+00:002010-03-12T12:14:24.597+00:00Me insensitive? I shall have to ask you outside yo...Me insensitive? I shall have to ask you outside young Dan...<br /><br />Thanks for commenting<br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />MarcSulci Collectivehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03293833259808943096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-47831123205315195212010-03-12T09:28:16.958+00:002010-03-12T09:28:16.958+00:00I agree with Skycycler, this has a sensiotivity I ...I agree with Skycycler, this has a sensiotivity I don't often come across in your writing. A real sensuousness.<br /><br />"It tasted of interrelatedness." I can't work out if I love that line or think it's so way OTT it almost comes back down the side side or what :)Dan Hollowayhttp://www.yearzerowriters.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-48705185136933171572010-03-12T08:12:19.769+00:002010-03-12T08:12:19.769+00:00I liked the way this was not related to any histor...I liked the way this was not related to any history of them - how they met etc. It's really more like something you observe from the outside, only that you hear her thoughts at the same time.Diandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14570498251611083259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-61593997982080130022010-03-12T01:30:51.444+00:002010-03-12T01:30:51.444+00:00The subcutaneous detail of this piece is up to you...The subcutaneous detail of this piece is up to your normal powers of description.It brings this couple to a whole new level of intimacy within one night. And then to find that potential has fled with the lover, leaving only an impression of a dead relationship in the bedding. Great stuff.PDAllenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10435612569640060391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-61269284298748026002010-03-12T01:04:15.198+00:002010-03-12T01:04:15.198+00:00I think this is my favorite of all your Fridayflas...I think this is my favorite of all your Fridayflashes. So intimate, such feeling. Really, really good!Genevieve Jackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16178276724159826428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-14981522678855401882010-03-12T00:53:37.034+00:002010-03-12T00:53:37.034+00:00Really loved the visual of the ribbons of light la...Really loved the visual of the ribbons of light lashing her to the sheets! This was, as Simon said, very sensuous, sense aware. Would love to see what she could do with a complicated dessert :-) <br /><br />Maybe if she stopped licking their elbows in the middle of the night, they might stick around, eh? lol<br /><br />I joke, but this is a piece of art. Lovely.shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17063218369150683990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-4940638814736499372010-03-12T00:31:17.727+00:002010-03-12T00:31:17.727+00:00Gosh.
This feels very different, Marc. This is de...Gosh.<br /><br />This feels very different, Marc. This is deeply sensuous, synaesthetic, tasty - even feely (if you will) and beautifully observed. <br /><br />There's much space in the text and you've still managed to weave in your wonderful stylistic traits: "With this mish-mash of venous vermicelli in the wrist..." <br /><br />I think this really works well.<br /><br />'Runic braille' and 'tasted of interrelatedness' were a joy.<br /><br />Fantastic! Really enjoyed reading this.<br />Simon.Skycyclerhttp://skycycler.comnoreply@blogger.com