tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post566935552744392550..comments2024-01-27T20:23:45.771+00:00Comments on Sulci Collective: White Elephant's Graveyard - FridayflashSulci Collectivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03293833259808943096noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-68093089772106588532010-03-22T15:05:48.199+00:002010-03-22T15:05:48.199+00:00It's not *that* far removed from your normal w...It's not *that* far removed from your normal writing. The language, for starters, was beautiful as ever.<br /><br />"He rode on the ghost of his war steed" - this snippet will be with me for a while, and I might have to one day turn the mental image it has given me into a story of my own.<br />I shall of course ensure to credit you appropriately in the relevant blog post :-)mazzz in Leedshttp://mazzz-in-leeds.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-57605383430937259122010-03-22T13:14:02.829+00:002010-03-22T13:14:02.829+00:00Thank you all so much for your very kind words.
I...Thank you all so much for your very kind words.<br /><br />I have to admit to feeling slightly non-plussed (though still very grateful) by the warm responses you've given it, since this is so far removed from my normal writing. It was more of an idle curiosity to see if I could write something strictly telling a story, without much in the way of layering of meanings which is what I normally pursue. <br /><br />So thank you all again and I'm going to have to think about what next!Sulci Collectivehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03293833259808943096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-1548024298363061652010-03-22T11:39:34.345+00:002010-03-22T11:39:34.345+00:00The Hollywood guy in his Jeep Cherokee is just ano...The Hollywood guy in his Jeep Cherokee is just another way that native American heritage is stepped on and bastardized for whatever weird gain 'the white man' wants to take. First it was skins and land, now it's their spirit world for entertainment purposes.<br />Thought-provoking, beautifully written, poetic and interesting. And, like David says, anything with a coyote (or a Jeep) in it has my attention.<br />Nice job.Cathy Olliffe-Websterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12729578896443750402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-27927062542215520822010-03-22T11:30:56.150+00:002010-03-22T11:30:56.150+00:00Great writing, and a great read. Brilliant ending....Great writing, and a great read. Brilliant ending. ThanksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-22883031563674046872010-03-22T02:53:22.987+00:002010-03-22T02:53:22.987+00:00This was so clever! What an imaginative tale.This was so clever! What an imaginative tale.Cat Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160039271069426174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-17369829070771875202010-03-20T20:24:09.835+00:002010-03-20T20:24:09.835+00:00Very clever use of language made this flow beautif...Very clever use of language made this flow beautifully. Almost had a poetic quality about it. An interesting and totally engaging tale.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01304850820653245569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-45503582273013081832010-03-20T00:16:28.795+00:002010-03-20T00:16:28.795+00:00I really enjoyed this story in so many ways. The c...I really enjoyed this story in so many ways. The coyote was great and the Jeep Cherokee was perfect - play on words/characters. I found this story very interesting in the details. I felt like I was learning about a secret culture.<br /><br />I still needed to look up a few words, but that makes me happy.<br /><br />In a word - fascinating!Anne Tyler Lordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16909141266966569378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-39037986283936580902010-03-19T17:57:30.499+00:002010-03-19T17:57:30.499+00:00Coyotes make excellent characters. Some great phra...Coyotes make excellent characters. Some great phrases in this, and the Jeep Cherokee was a nice touch.Lauritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03688820247531607677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-82829462082119706372010-03-19T16:17:53.285+00:002010-03-19T16:17:53.285+00:00Entrhalled, engrossed--good words to describe how ...Entrhalled, engrossed--good words to describe how I read this one. I always enjoy the mystical, and I liked how so many different sorts of spectral types united to overthrow the menace.peggyhttp://pegjet.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-69497953382045332512010-03-19T14:35:44.541+00:002010-03-19T14:35:44.541+00:00"Every type of metal bird it was possible to ..."Every type of metal bird it was possible to conceive of, laid out along the desert like the pebbles of a sand painting." Love, love, love this line! Indeed, I thoroughly enjoyed the whole story, was entralled, completely engrossed in this world, until that twist ending. I usually love a good twist at the end, but this one, as creative as it is, left me saddened - I wanted so much to believe it all! <br />I especially appreciate that I didn't have to look up even one word in the dictionary this week. :) <br />Thanks for a great read Marc!Deanna Schrayerhttp://theothersideofdeanna.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-66390712459640734382010-03-19T14:05:02.022+00:002010-03-19T14:05:02.022+00:00Terrific story, full and rich with your distinctiv...Terrific story, full and rich with your distinctive style.Laura Enohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09982794146667832204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-90162733597275853442010-03-19T13:00:24.614+00:002010-03-19T13:00:24.614+00:00Fabulous read. And what Lou said. Fave line I wish...Fabulous read. And what Lou said. Fave line I wish I'd written: "Electrifying her, she shuddered and held out her wrists, like a penitent or a suicide." <br /><br />I've seen one of these old graveyards, they are eerie out in the desert...Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01110078016784294934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-52876094920836711432010-03-19T10:31:27.123+00:002010-03-19T10:31:27.123+00:00Really liked it. Old and new bones, birds... all m...Really liked it. Old and new bones, birds... all mixed up together. Fascinating idea.Diandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14570498251611083259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-32795275414176045032010-03-19T10:21:44.443+00:002010-03-19T10:21:44.443+00:00No bones to pick with this Marc. Great crackles of...No bones to pick with this Marc. Great crackles of energy surging through this, pinballing of of your clever prose. I loved it. What a fantastic read.<br />Simon.Skycyclerhttp://skycycler.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-42261374215140589222010-03-19T09:39:38.662+00:002010-03-19T09:39:38.662+00:00Like Lily, I enjoyed the story focus. And anythin...Like Lily, I enjoyed the story focus. And anything about a coyote will always have me instantly hooked.David Mastershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12809185582216906363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-37041868367667873932010-03-19T09:35:15.486+00:002010-03-19T09:35:15.486+00:00I really like the idea of this, and it was a well ...I really like the idea of this, and it was a well woven tale. <br /><br />Just one small thing, I did find the line "Global pow-wow" a bit jarring. I think its the word global - anyhoot thats my two pence<br /><br />Good StuffChancehttp://thedeadadventurersclub.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-64148013189257741612010-03-19T07:21:11.994+00:002010-03-19T07:21:11.994+00:00Thanks for the heads up Dale. Will amend. (Influen...Thanks for the heads up Dale. Will amend. (Influence of naff 90's band "E's Are Good" The Shamen!Sulci Collectivehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03293833259808943096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-47794450744309644582010-03-19T02:32:45.212+00:002010-03-19T02:32:45.212+00:00I dig Coyote stories. Of course, this is different...I dig Coyote stories. Of course, this is different from the traditional Coyote Old Man stories. But I love what you have done with these American Indian icons.<br /><br />One nit, shaman is not formed from the root man, it is Siberian in origin. The plural should be either shaman or shamans.PDAllenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10435612569640060391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-34837035848492759922010-03-19T02:30:38.758+00:002010-03-19T02:30:38.758+00:00Oh, you can take the writer out of the language bu...Oh, you can take the writer out of the language but you can't take the language out of the writer. Or something like that. <br /><br />Might be more plot and less wordplay, but still has your sensibility which is a relief for me at least.<br /><br />"Every type of metal bird it was possible to conceive of, laid out along the desert like the pebbles of a sand painting. Some had spilled their guts on to the sand, silver droppings too dull to catch the sun's rays."<br /><br />I mean, that's worth triple the admission price, just that alone.<br /><br />As for the ending, twists are not my favorite. But that's just my bias for character over plot, which in not necessarily a good thing.Lou Freshwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08849342766852653969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-48582167328285346672010-03-19T01:47:23.866+00:002010-03-19T01:47:23.866+00:00I think this style suits you. Well told story and...I think this style suits you. Well told story and I didn't see the twist coming. I found one small typo -4th line down- I think you mean "sacred ancestral". My favorite character was the coyote. Nicely done.Genevieve Jackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16178276724159826428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-2148923220273880622010-03-19T01:46:15.971+00:002010-03-19T01:46:15.971+00:00The gotcha got me! And I laughed that it was a Jee...The gotcha got me! And I laughed that it was a Jeep Cherokee.<br /><br />Really loved this. The voice, the "weirdness", the words, the "It's a patriotic one where we win."<br /><br />Quite the storyteller, you.Marisa Birnshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17945909737147497606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-39666061742202956812010-03-19T01:29:43.570+00:002010-03-19T01:29:43.570+00:00I for one appreciated the focus on story this week...I for one appreciated the focus on story this week - and what a story! And with a gotcha at the end too. Some great word choices throughout - especially love dewlap.Lily Mulhollandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09804113718224654006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-26351814483844448412010-03-19T01:03:45.613+00:002010-03-19T01:03:45.613+00:00Just a story, huh?
I loved the end. It justified ...Just a story, huh?<br /><br />I loved the end. It justified all the "weirdness" that came before.Mark Kerstetterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13307987573435067415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5179795275664264195.post-4839694550938758282010-03-19T00:55:45.757+00:002010-03-19T00:55:45.757+00:00I liked this voice. I enjoy ethnic tales told in a...I liked this voice. I enjoy ethnic tales told in an authentic dialect and cadence. But aww, the end? It wasn't real? Gah. You got me. XDCarrie Clevengerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05093923008179106837noreply@blogger.com